he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
