Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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