We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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