She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
