The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
