you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Can I color on your dick again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
