SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
