I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
