i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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