If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
