I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He better not be in your backpack
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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