also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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