i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
