turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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