Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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