ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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