I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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