im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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