I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize