i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
