So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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