The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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