ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
