Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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