I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
