if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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