no, he came in my armpit
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How naked do you want me to be?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
