Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
