Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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