If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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