i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
