Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize