and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
be right there i have to get my cape
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
