Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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