He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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