Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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