Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
