I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
