Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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