I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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