If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
