You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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