All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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