I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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