Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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