Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize