i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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