in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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