i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
