Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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