There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
