Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
