Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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