He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sobbing to NWA
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
